Gardening = Heartbreak

Five years ago a majestic Maple tree in my front yard was torn apart by wind and had to be removed leaving a tragic scar. I have never done any serious landscape work and found myself pretty overwhelmed. I wanted to hire people, my husband did not. He wanted to level it and plant grass and I wanted a garden with flowers. So, it sat untouched for years; which allowed the tree roots to decompose. Last year my husband and I (mostly my husband) moved the Vinca and turned the soil to kill the crabgrass and outlined the bed. Finally, this summer I threw myself into planting my garden. Lots of credit should go to the Better Homes and Gardens “Garden Plan Finder” https://www.bhg.com/gardening/garden-plan-finder/?psrc=MN_R804BRM1455GF I used the “Property Line Garden” https://www.bhg.com/gardening/plans/special-spots/property-line-garden/ as my primary inspiration however selection of the individual plants was inspired by plants that worked for my neighbors or my neighbors gave me, one’s I loved, and nuisance plants I could dig up for free.

Things went pretty well and while it was hot, sweaty, dirty work I started to enjoy myself. When I had other stuff to do I would ignore it and spend time in the garden. I lovingly watered and fertilized and the plants thrived. What I didn’t see coming was the heartbreak.

First Year planting of Property Line Garden West Michigan.

It started with the Deer; whatever the internet or plant care tags say, Deer will eat whatever they decide to eat. Bee’s, there are a lot of bees and much to my dismay cute little bumble bees sting (they are not flying pandas); and so do yellow jackets. Cicada killers are just scary, but didn’t sting me. Sadly, I fall into the category of people who have “moderately severe allergic reaction to bee stings.” And, spider bites, so throw in spiders too. And plants die, or threaten to die and because you love them you will buy potions and do research, trying to keep them alive but you may not know until spring if you succeed.

I am not sure I would begin calling myself a gardener anytime soon, however my garden continues to try to charm me with its finer points including the frogs and toads and caterpillars and squirrels munching mushrooms (which is seriously too cute) and even the spooky stuff is kinda cool (check out the stinkhorn mushrooms and benevolent garden orb weaver.)

Golden Wooly Bear

Stinkhorn Fungus

Black and Yellow Garden Spider

Cope’s Grey Tree Frog

2018 Polyphemus Moth Caterpillar

I’ll let you know if we break up in the spring, but like with most love affairs, I am accepting the good with the bad. The garden is beginning to get compliments (through the four feet of bird netting I had to put up to keep the deer out.)

2018 Property Line Garden

Pink Lemonade Sedum

Zagreb Coreopsis (front) and Perennial Salvia

Plants the deer ate: Day Lily, Red Twig Dogwood, Pink Lemonade Sedum, Purple Cone Flower, Phlox, Artemisia.

Plants the deer have not (yet) eaten: Sprinter Boxwood, Russian Sage, Zagreb Coreopsis, ~~Artemisia~~, Korean Spice Viburnum (not pictured).

Am I a Vegetarian, or am I Just Not Eating Meat?

Twenty six years ago (wow, that makes me sound really old) I was living in Michigan and attending Kalamazoo College. Like many college students I was trying to sort out what was important to me and began cooking for myself and decided to become a vegetarian. I guess I studied vegetarianism…I didn’t want to be unhealthy or give up too much. I bought books and explored nutrition. I avoided any and all foods that had animal based contents including marshmallows and gummi bears (check out this video for the gory details https://youtu.be/HOYUYr8YQpU ) and eating out often meant french fries and salad. I continued a vegetarian lifestyle until I was diagnosed with a B12 deficiency and started eating meat again in hopes of avoiding painful injections. Sadly, I was unable to avoid the injections but became pretty comfortable with eating chicken, fish and carnitas!

Today, my precocious daughter is right where I was twenty six years ago and wants to become a vegetarian. We were already eating meat products only once a week due to cost and concerns about food safety and I would be fine to proclaim my renewed vegetarianism however our freezer is still full of roasts! Also, I am not sure how I feel about ‘isms.’ According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary the definition of ism is 1: a distinctive doctrine, cause, or theory, 2: an oppressive and especially discriminatory attitude or belief. They also include this quote from Joycelyn Elders, “we all have got to come to grips with our isms.”

Sooo… as a therapist and someone who values relationship over isms I am not sure how I feel about about passing up someone’s beautifully prepared meal because it contains meat. I have also learned that being flexible (and patient) is invaluable, almost a super power. So, am I a vegetarian or am I just not eating meat? In general my family eats three meals a day out of our kitchen and we are pretty selective about where we eat out. Our feelings regarding how unnecessary it is to exploit animals for their protein strengthens every time we have a satisfying meal that is meat free. I dusted off my old (and dirty) cookbook collection and after about a month we stopped missing meat as the center of the meal. I have a few “distinctive doctrines and theories” that shape my actions and now the groceries I buy. I suspect we all do… but for now, I still have some roasts in the freezer (not that my daughter will eat them.)

Tomatos and Serranos from our garden.

Home grown Anaheim’s being roasted.

My daughter harvesting mint on a chilly September day in Michigan.

Grief and a Garden Goose

2018 has been full of changes. In addition to the deaths of some dear friends and family, I have had to endure some challenging transitions. As a therapist, I am well acquainted with theories about grief and am practiced in how to offer support, but nowhere is it written you need a cement garden goose. In May, my mother-in-law Pearl moved out of the house she built with her husband in 1957 and into an assisted living facility. It was a chilly day early in the morning and I was sent with a list of things my husband wanted me to buy from the estate sale. I waited in line with thirty or more antique dealers and collectors (she had a lovely doll collection and an array of antique furniture and housewares) and I could see this cement garden goose standing amongst some chairs lined up on the driveway. Boy was I surprised to find myself getting worried that someone might buy this goose before I could claim it. Nowhere on the list was “one garden goose.”

When I met my husband in 1991 and started visiting his parents for dinners and swimming; this cheerful goose named Petunia welcomed everyone at the front door. It was dutifully dressed by Pearl or her grandkids for each of the holidays. When we returned to Michigan after 12 years living in New Mexico, our daughter took over updating Petunia’s outfit. I had no idea this lawn ornament found a place in my heart. While not normally a part of my aesthetic I did not struggle with my need to have it, and it came home with me along with some dolls and a quilt. It was great to see my daughter’s enthusiasm that it was coming to live with us. I think Pearl was as surprised as I was that of all the items in the house Petunia was saved from the sale.

This means now I have a family tradition to uphold, and I am taking the responsibility pretty seriously. Petunia’s wardrobe was a little worse for wear (Raggedy Ann’s handmade dress was torn and sun bleached and her country dress with straw hat couldn’t be saved) but Pinterest was a good source of inspiration. I rejected a lot of the outfit designs that gave Petunia arms, dressed her like a turkey or put her in snorkeling gear- come on SHE IS A GOOSE. But I loved the idea of a hula skirt for summer and she would of course need a halloween costume. I also rejected the idea of painting her. I liked that the grey cement melded with the tones of the weathered deck and the stone details at the front of the house; she looked right at home.

Dollar Tree was a wonderful place to find accessories to help me get started. Since it was summer I knew they would have a lei for her hula costume and I was delighted to find mini patriotic hats for the 4th of July (I have no idea what people need mini hats for if they don’t have a goose of their own.) I fashioned a hula skirt from some sisal rope I encouraged to unravel in tassels. I returned in September and found the sparkly witch hat and a toddler’s fairy skirt that fit petunia perfectly!

Dollar Store hat and skirt.

Dollar Store lei adjusted to fit and made into a hat. Sisal rope hula skirt.

Pearl’s Spring Rain outfit for Petunia.

Pearl’s Easter costume for Petunia.

Dollar Store Hat with an apron from Pearl’s collection.

Remnants of an aged Raggedy Anne outfit.

Pearl’s Santa costume.

Amidst all of the giving up and letting go this little project helped tie my family together. When everything seems quite serious and somewhat dark this silly cement goose reminds me not to take things too seriously and to smile. Petunia says “welcome” at my home now and she does a good job too.

Feeding Donald (our hot compost)

This summer, I found myself with some time on my hands and decided to work on our garden. So off to the internet I went for inspiration! I came across How to build an easy hot compost and I thought I would take our compost “pile” and make it look a little more respectable. It has been pretty amazing. We take our kitchen scraps out to the compost (Donald) every other day. As recommended, I added lawn clippings periodically throughout the summer and now…when I sink in my shovel, it steams! The project cost under $40.00. Next year, the ferns I planted will conceal the bins and the compost will be ready to share with the garden. This is a project I recommend.

The Journey Begins

I imagine this blog will be a place where I can share some of my projects (including the high’s and low’s) and join the discussion happening on the internet about lifestyles in North America. Currently (September 2018) I have so many projects I want to accomplish that I have been doing a lot of online research via YouTube and Pinterest and I am grateful to learn from everyone. Blogs and How-To videos have helped me learn everything from knitting to window installation! Maybe my upcoming 46th birthday has me thinking differently about my voice and my “seniority” as a community member, so it is time to throw my hat into the ring!

The concept of the pirate pieman developed about ten years ago when my daughter had a cat follow her home from school. He is a classic tuxedo with great mousing skills and very little common sense. I often develop a song for each of the pets and somehow the cat was named Simon (formally Sailor Simon Pirate Pieman) after the children’s poem “Simple Simon.” Simon continues to aggravate and entertain and the image of a pirate pieman has always amused me; a little bit tough and a little bit sweet- like a lot of things.

Wish me luck!

Liz

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton